


Upon Review

by Meredydd



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-17
Updated: 2013-04-17
Packaged: 2017-12-08 19:03:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/764929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meredydd/pseuds/Meredydd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For a prompt on sherlockbbc_fic which requested  Sherlock and John making a sex tape and reviewing it later.  <a href="http://sherlockbbc-fic.livejournal.com/7277.html?thread=35581037#t35581037">http://sherlockbbc-fic.livejournal.com/7277.html?thread=35581037#t35581037</a>  This is a bit on the cracky side and heavy on dialogue...   And apologies to Ellen Degeneres. Some of the dialogue is inspired by bits of her “In The Beginning” special.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Upon Review

 

“Oh, bloody Hell...do I always make that face?”

“Only when I bite you on your hip.”

“You could have told me, Sherlock!”

“Right there, your elbow...do you see what I’m talking about, John? If you keep flailing about like that, your elbow shoves against my neck and I lose suction on your nipple.”

“I’m not exactly doing it on purpose. And what the Hell is that wiggle you’re doing? It reminds me of my Nan’s cat when it’s trying to pounce a toy mouse.”

“You’ve never complained before.”

“You’ve never done that before.”

“I do it every time.” Sherlock sniffed imperiously and reached for the remote.

“No! No hitting fast forward just because I think that butt wiggle is cute.”

“You didn’t say it was cute. I’m too old for anything about me to be cute. Even when I was a boy--”

“Sherlock?”

“Yes?”

“Shut up and watch the video. You’re the one who insisted on this so you have to sit through it.”

“Are you embarrassed, John? I assure you, no one but the two of us will see this.”

“They’d better not.”

“Do you honestly think I want anyone to see you like this?”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Really, John, don’t take everything I say as an insult.”

“...I sound like a dying rooster.”

“I must admit, that is a rather disconcerting noise. Perhaps I shouldn’t do that with your foreskin.”

“No, no... I’ll... I’ll try not to make that sound again. Oh frilly Hell, no man should bend over like that in front of a camera. My balls look like a pinata, swinging about like that!”

“John, if that image is what comes to mind the next time I see you naked, I am never having sex with you again.”

“Yes you will. You like it when I do that, see what I’m doing there? You enjoy that immensely and, if what you’re saying on the video is true, you are now my slave for life.”

“Hmph. Hyperbole.”

“Hmmm. Oh, well, see, that bit isn’t bad. We look pretty damned good there...”

“I look pretty damned good everywhere, thank you.”

“You know what I mean, you vain git. Oi, what the hands! I’m holding a hot cup of tea!”

“Put it down, then. I can’t undo your zip if you’re holding it.”

“Ah, I see... Well, should we hit stop?”

“No, let’s see if we can outdo ourselves.”


End file.
